The Snow Beast

It's hard to look cool in a snowstorm, but easy to look cold in a blizzard. This is something that Ace has always known, and something that Ace put to the test this last week.

"Snow's been all over the place," said CC. "Let's just stay in."

"No way," drawled Ace. "I've recently been issued a salutation and was also propositioned via grasshopper."

"So, you want to go to the Blue Dog?"

"CC, as I've always told you, you need to anticipate what J-faction may do. Noooo, Jo would be expecting me to go north to see the azul critter... we need to do the opposite - to Ruby Tuesday!" Ace rocketed to his feet.

Taking a sled dog team to Elmira, and then a transfer to Horseheads and then back into Elmira again, eventually the duo showed their frostbitten, but cool, faces at Ruby Tuesday.

Sauntering in after their mandatory ten minute wait, Ace noticed they were seated under a movie poster that proclaimed "The only thing gayer than April in Paris is Bergman in Paris."

"Political nuances aside, I'd like to chow down on the garden up front and try the Bison burger," Ace told the waitress clone. CC ordered the same, but with a cow burger draped with pig bacon instead.

Ace lurked near the salad bar, almost afraid to pick up the square plate.

"There's just somethin' strange about it," Ace said to CC's disgusted look. "It's like eating off a Mondrian."

The Bison burger was quite tasty, although it was nearly indistinguishable from the cow burger, and huge. The beer was cold and margs were on sale that night - who could ask for anything more?

"We totally have to check out your uncle Bruno," CC said, sitting back basking in the glow of a strawberry marg.

"I don't know if I can trust Bruno... Let's go, we've got an ice storm to muck through before the day's done...."
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Ace Baldwin, icicle - remember, only the food is real.

A Proposition - or an inquisition?

I found a paper folded into a grasshopper shoved under my door. Being the slightly suspicious type, I automatically dissembled it, only to find this note written in a tiny barely legible hand:

"Hello, Ace. Now, relax, you can put that lead pipe down. I don't owe you that much dough, do I?
Check out the Blue Frog Coffee Bar in Cortland sometime. It's in the downtown, lots of alleyways to duck down, and the place is a fishbowl. You can see anyone coming a mile away if they go an inch.

And, I hear Jo may be there. Check it out. It'll be worth your while, if not for the coffee.

Yers,
Uncle Bruno
(PS--if you go in, go in hot or not at all. Just a friendly suggestion)"

It just makes me think - do I go north for the rendevouz?

Hey, Jo whaddya know?

What places do you frequent? Where's the best place to getta piece of pie? Is there really anyplace that makes a drink stronger than a Shakespeare? Where do you see shows - or agents of the mysterious Faction-J? What do you do when you meet up in the dark of the darkest night, smelling the hideous rankness of the beast that is known only as "Jo"?

Let ace know at ace@gotbuzzed.com...